Sometimes I feel that I can understand why people wants to commit suscide...

That place is suppose to be filled with warm and love. It's suppose to make people yearn to come back. But to me, this place is never the way it is suppose to be. I can't help but feel depress, sad, miserable and trapped.

Everywhere I see in that place is filled with evidence of her presence. Her abnormal self. I want to do something about it. I want but there's nothing much I can really do. Trying to reverse her actions will only cause a quarrel. I don't want a quarrel neither do I want to let her do what she want. Some times I can't help it but feel like blaming her for all the unhappiness that she had caused. I know it's not right since its not that she really wants to. The only thing that I am capable of doing is to run away. But that is not a place where I can run away forever. I have to go to that place sometimes and running away from that place makes me feel that I'm just running away from my problems.

I want to be normal, be insignificant. Just want to hide away from this harsh reality. I tried to brush it aside and not to think about it whenever I can. I tried to look forward to going back that place. Psycho-ed myself many times to look on the bright side. But I cant. I really cant. I want to stay strong but it's far from possible to me...