Cherishing you always

Hai..4 days of break is not enough!! I need more days to relax and enjoy. I'm so looking forward for the next coming holiday ( 6th April-- Good Friday). I know it's only February now but I can't stop thinking about the next 'long' break.
Been visiting relatives and taking hong baos last few days. I've missed out on Yang's mother-side relatives otherwise i be able to get more hong baos. Guess it can't be help since i was going to ex's house to bai nian. I feel fortunate to have her as a friend. When i was staying at Jurong west, I was living a few blocks away from her. I always thought that i can drop by and visit her any time i want. Never did it daunt on me that i would have moved away to this far far land called Bukit Panjang. Moving away from Jurong to Bukit Panjang was like immigrating to another country to me. I do not know any close friends staying in Bukit Panjang nor am i used to seeing bus 190,960 or 963. Now that I've moved, i start realising that I've always took staying near friends as something that it should be. Its only now that I've come to realise that I've took it for granted. Regretting is futile. Thus, i learn from my mistake. I'm happy to say I was given a chance to get together with my secondary school buddies, NTU buddies as well as JC pals the past few months.
I'm fortunate and I know it. I used to live a life filled with studies and me, myself and I. Now, I'm proud to say that I'm changing for the better. Living on to cherish my friends and Yang who have never forsaken me.

183 sux

Have you ever had an experience of being squeezed by monkeys who dress in office wears? I have. Mind you, they weren't just ordinary monkeys, they are well-trained monkeys. Well-trained in boarding that popular and 'stylish' Mercedes sbstransit bus. Oh yeah, it was an ugly sight alright. It was the ugliest sight in SG I've ever seen. Thanks to them, I missed 2 buses of 183 and only manage to board the third one by running towards the bus. I not exaggerating, not a single bit. I really did the marathon run in order to board the bus and I was 35 minutes late for work.
To all the monkeys:" Well done monkeys. You've done a great job and Good Bye because I'm changing my bus route to work. Although I've to wake up 10 minutes earlier than usual, I still think it's worth it."

Time Flies~

Some much things to do and so little time! Makes me wonder why I'm blogging. Lol.. I'm not slacking. I'm just using some of my lunch time to blog. Not 'eating snake' ok? I'm actually very hardworking if you wish to know.
Anyway, i got my PAY on 31th Jan. WOOTS~ There's just so many things to look forward to recently. V day and CNY!! So exciting. As usual, yang and me are celebrating on the weekend before V day. I don't think we'll be doing anything exciting. But I'm looking forward to trying out the food from 'shang hai jia ren' a restaurant i saw on makan king variety show. *WINKS* Talking about it just make me happy. It's very difficult not to feel happy when it comes to food. Of course I'm talking about delicious, unforgettable, tasty and sumptuous foods. *Mind gone gu gu ga ga for a moment* Ok, I'm back. Where was i? Oh..right V day. V day= Buy present and i haven't buy one for yang! I don't even know if i have time to get one. =(
I'm meeting him today and I'm going out on Saturday night to gather with my SAJC friends. Hm...maybe I can buy one when he's giving tuition on Saturday evening. This means that I'll have to shop alone=~(. Sad.Most probably.
Moreover, I need to treat my ex and xuan for a drink.(Part of the reason why I'm not stating how much i got for my pay.) Since all of us are attached, i doubt that they will be free on Saturday. I don't know when i can meet them again. It feel uncomfortable to know that you owe others something. Especially when you know you are the one to blame. Nope, they didn't threaten be to treat them. I just want to do it because I'm nice =P.
Oh ya, cannot forget CNY too!! I've thought of what to wear on that big day. A cute white dress and my brown boots. Did i say boots? YES~ I bought my boots last Saturday or Sunday(can't remember). Anyway, I bought it at a bargain! Did i say bargain? YES~ I bought it for 40 dollars when that auntie was selling at 59 dollars! YES YES YES~ Whaha.. But i have buy my dress yet. Hehe..I shall post up my first picture next time with me wearing my CNY clothes!!
Whahaaa..Look forward to pretty me everyone.=)

I feel so useless!

Last Saturday, I went to a sweet,cute and bright 14 years old little girl's funeral. Even though she wasn't close to me, I could still feel the sadness. Seeing her picture...seeing her body lying in a coffin...no could stop their tears.
Yang: Well..At least you are not close to her.
Me: Ya..But I saw her in church. I remember her.
It was said to be a 'relatively simple 2 hours operation'. No one thought that this would happen. I feel so helpless. Looking at her parents grieve, its simply heart aching. She was so innocent and young yet she is no longer here with us any more. So sudden ..so surreal...
Sometimes i feel that if there's really God, he should have taken me away instead of her. I've sin more than she does. Why does it have to happen to her? If only they would have discovered her illness earlier..if only... i've been thinking so many 'if only's .It's all pointless now. It's all pointless.
I guess all i can do is to believe that she is no long in pain and she is with God.
To whoever reading this: Cherish what you have and the people beside you. There is no telling when will happen the very next minute.

Stress Out

I've been waking up in the middle of the night for 2 days. Ever since the submission of my report on last Friday, nothing much have i progress. My supervisor didn't came for work on Monday and Tuesday. Part of me wanted him to come today and the other part of me just hopes that he comes tomorrow or on Friday.
If he comes to work, I'll know that he'll talk to us and brief us on what we should do for the next few weeks. So I wouldn't have felt so lost like the last 2 days and i wouldn't have been thinking of how to proceed on with my research.
However, the other half of me just want to take a break before he assigns us with out next task. With him around definitely means all work and no play. I don't want to be like dull Jack.
Still, i think i'll stick with hoping that he comes today since i seriously have no idea on how i should proceed on. Ok, there's definitely things to do before he comes back. Eg: Learn a few skills that is required for me to complete my project or stuff that i could read up on etc. But i seriously don't like the feeling of not being told to do stuff. Not that i'm insane or what...It just feel better if someone is to assure me that i'm on the right track and i am right to proceed on with the stuff that i'm working on now. You know..Assurance..I guess that's what makes a whole lot of difference.
I think i'm just those type of person who needs a lot of assurance, a lot of support and a lot of acknowledgement. Sounds to me that i'm very insecure. I am? Maybe..maybe a little...
Heck! Mr Huang is you accidentally surf the web and bump into this website, I want you to know that i really hope you come today. Bring hope and light into my life again. I don't want to wake up on my own at 4am thinking that it's time for work.

Freaking Suay Day

Hai..Today is a suay day. First 'suay' thing that happens to me is that my stupid shoe have to spoil. It spoilt when i was walking to work! WTH~ Now, i really left with my slippers and my sport shoes at home. ALL my shoes with heels have spoilt in one way or the way. Next, that stupid machine in the pantry have to piss me off by splashing my milo out of my cup while i only asked for water from it. That stupid machine had stained my new shirt..i repeat NEW shirt. What is wrong with it man...That was the time i wished for a peaceful day. A quiet and peaceful day. I want nothing to happen and nothing new to happen. Well..i thought so...or hope so..but no..that's only the beginning..
After surfing the net for awhile, guess what i discovered? Forgetful Miss Wahwah has sent the wrong document to my supervisor. ARGH~ I seriously want to go home and stay at home. It felt like a 'stay-at-home-or-you're-dead' day.Why does everything bad have to happen all at the same time? How can i have a happy period if things like this keep on happening to me?
Worst of all, I'm simply left on my own to research today. How to? How to? I don't know a single thing. If my day is not getting worst then it should be getting better. But no~, its not and I'm stuck in this terrible research project which seems to have no end to it. Why do i have to have such a tiring life? Everything must be carried out the hard way. I just hope time flies as swift as it can and let me go home on my 'on-the-verge-of-splitting-into-two' heels.
Good thing is..there's mehmeh to cheer me up and june my ex to chit chat with me..otherwise i'll be going bersek in the office.

WaT's Wrong With Me?

I'm feeling so stressed up recently. What's wrong with me?
I should take things easily. Let them come and go. But i can't!!! I don't know why.
This stupid IA seems to be some kind of poison. Once taken, it will slow attack your brain then your heart. It doesn't goes straight to ur heart. It takes its own sweet time torturing you. First, making you think that it's just a 6 months during working period. Moreover, we are still undergraduates, they won't expect so much from us. Then, slowly tells you what they expect from you (giving you wee bit of stress now). After knowing that you might be a bit worry, they'll try to comfort you by ensuring you that you will be able to reach their expectation. After calming you down and leaving the job on ur own, the poison inside you will start its fatal action. It makes you worry, feel unwell, have sleepless nights and then difficuility in breathing. A slight pain will be felt at your chest area when you breath out.
Yesterday night was the first night i ever felt this kind of pain. Its possible i might be thinking too much. It's also possible that i am having some unknown illiness and it's possible that i might just be too stress. For any reason, the slow and subtle pain makes me feeling like i might die in my sleep. Like the doctor who died in his sleep at the age of 30 or 40 plus and my brother's colleague who died in his sleep at 30 plus. Life's so unpredictable, it scares me sometimes.
To have the thought of dying, all things undone will come flooding your mind. I want to..I want to...I still want to live on..continue my life ..fulfil my dreams.
I think i will never come to a conclusion on the dying thought that i had yesterday. I guess the best thing i can do is to cherish everyday and everyone that i love.